CPT

CPT took on a whole new meaning as well as its original meaning this weekend. For those of you who don't know what this is, ask the one black person you know. Actually scratch that, just goggle it and get more black friends!

Anyway in true form Latrice and Tenya missed their flight out of Atlanta on Saturday morning. Some of this had to do with security but most of it had to do with catching the freaking MARTA train late. Anyway, 4:25 they finally landed, 6 hours late...CPT!

We had table reservations at 40/40 club at 10:00pm so we just stayed in Jersey and hung out til it was time to leave. I am officially NEVER going back to the 40/40 club in NYC. I know it is an out of town thing to do, but it is over priced and sucks on Saturday just as much as Sunday. Whew, now that I got that off my chest... We left 40/40 around midnight and that is when the true NY experience started. As we were walking back to the train we pass a bum on the side walk. Now mind you I am totally oblivious because I just walk by and don't pay them no mind. Well of coarse Latrice and Tenya look in his direction. "Oh shit" and "Only in NY" where their responses. I was so confused until they explained we just passed a bum jacking off with his pants around his ankles. I wondered what the hell he was moaning about. Yes ladies and Gentlemen, they got the true essence of NY! This is the point in the store CPT takes its new meaning of Casualty & Penis Trip.

Day number two we went into the city to do a little sight seeing and shopping. We started at Canal Street, got cheesecake at Juniors and then went to Time Square. Nothing too exciting but, still fun times. We went to John's Pizza on 44th and 8th for dinner. My friend Tonyia introduced me to this restaurant and they have GREAT pizza. We were about a block away and the sky just opened up and it down poured. Thank goodness we had umbrellas, but they didn't do much for the bottom half of our bodies. We dried off and ate a little pizza, then headed home to relax. As we were walking to catch the train, we passed all these fire trucks, and yes the hot firemen to go along with them. God Bless the FDNY! This is where the casualty comes into CPT. As we cross 7th Ave, and of coarse rubber neck like everyone else, we see a white sheet on the ground. In NYC this only means one thing, dead body. Look at that only here a day and Latrice and Tenya saw a penis and a dead body. Welcome to NY ladies! On our walk home in Jersey City we pass a man standing by a tree. CPT strikes again. Here is our next penis encounter. Damned if a man didn't have it whipped out peeing on a tree. Now mind you he didn't move or turn when we walked past, nor did he bother to go behind a bush. The topper of it all was he was in front of the Spanish Church of The Nazaren, praise JESUS!

Monday I had to work so I made sure to tell Tenya and Latrice to carry on the weekend festivities and keep there eyes open for any possible exposures. Around 3:00pm I got a text, SUCCESS. There was a penis sighting on 21st Street. This time wasn't as exciting but there was an old man walking down the street with his fly open and it just hanging down and out. I think this was by far the worst. I mean dang to do that during the daylight hours, save that stuff for night time when the freaks are out and can appreciate it!

Monday night we went to The Pink Tea Cup in the village for dinner. I had heard it was the best soul food in Manhattan and wanted to show Tenya and Latrice a different side of NY. Well I wouldn't say it was the best soul food I ever had, but for Manhattan, they do pretty good. We made friends with the Manager Vincent and spent about 3 hours just talking. He is born and raised in NY, but I told him he had sweet tea in his veins :) We did have some celebrity sitings while we dined, Bebe Neuwirth, who played Lilith on Cheers and Frasier, and Flex Alexander, who played Three G's on the classic film "Snakes on a Plane." Now I couldn't see BeBe's plate all that well but she definitely had too much green going on, and it wasn't collard greens for sure! Flex however had exactly what I ordered, fried chicken, black eye peas, and collard greens. And PS their sweet tea was the bomb! I think I'll be in sugar shock until tomorrow. There bread pudding needs work, but don't worry I offered my menu ideas to my new friend Vincent. It was a great night and reminded me that no matter where you are, you need to just get in where you fit in.

A DJ Saved My Life, Twice.

I made a trip back down south to go White Water rafting this weekend. It has become a tradition with some of my friends so I had to keep the tradition going even though I am all the way up North. This trip definitely tested me. I really think the South was trying to reject me. She was pissed I left and boy did she let me know.

I'll start from the beginning. I flew into Atlanta Friday night, then we headed to TN Saturday morning. Every summer, we go to High Country Adventures and raft down the Ocoee river. We rent a cabin so we can cook out, drink and spend the night. Let me tell you, if anyone earned her Grapefruit and Vodka that night, it was me.

First things first, I should of know our raft was screwed when Sara fell in the river before she even set one foot in the raft. DJ, our rafting guide, prefaces getting into the boat with, "now this is one of the most dangerous parts of the river. Watch your step getting in the raft. There is a step before the drop off." Well I guess Sara was in her own world cause damn if she didn't watch the step and was already floating in the Ocoee before we even got in the raft. Lord help us this is going to be a long trip down the river.

So all 6 of us, Kelli, Michelle, Sara, Cari (yes black people officially white water raft), Charlie and Me get in the boat and head down the river. Clint and Stacey had to go in another boat because they only sit 6. Kelli and I wanted to be in the front because we got the guns to paddle. Well that is what we said anyway. Truth is the front is just more fun. As we go down the river DJ tells us we are coming up on a dangerous rapid. If any of you have ever been white water rafting, the guide will usually call "all down" in dangerous areas. This is when you all get down and sit in the bottom of the raft. Well he warned us we would have to get all down because of the danger in this rapid. Well as we were paddling and before he called all down, damn if I didn't fall out the boat. You know it is bad when the guide starts yelling "NO NO NO" as you are falling out of the boat. Luckily I was able to grab the strap around the raft, but I still had a nasty spill. I rode with the raft through the rapid as I was pounded by the rocks below. Because of the suction it pulls you under the raft. Kelli said all she could see was my yellow helmet. Mean while all I could think was get your feet up, Shannon. Last thing I needed was my big ass foot to get caught under a rock and trap me. I made it through the rapid but I think I swallowed half the river. How DJ pulled me up I'll never know. This man is 5'-1" and about 125. The lord gave him strength that day for sure! As I coughed up half the river once I got in the boat, I told everyone I was OK. Then all I could say was, "oh no I lost my paddle." Needless to say that was the least of everyone else's worries. DJ told Cari to give me her paddle and away we went. Yes, I just cheated death and I still had to freaking paddle! That's how we roll in the front of the raft. Take it for the team!

After I finally settled back down and shared my adventures further down the river with Stacey and Clint in the other boat, we continued down the river. All was going good until yup, you guessed it, I fell in again. I don't know if it was because I was leaning too much or what. Needless to say this time it wasn't as bad. I drank more of the river and only hit one rock. Kelli pulled me in this time. I had the poor girl so worried every time I leaned she grabbed me. I had to tell her I wasn't falling in so she could relax. After that I learned to lean into the boat and not try to dig my paddle so far in the water. Ya'll know me, the events were probably very serious but all I could do was laugh and make fun of myself. I mean what idiot falls in twice, but hey I'm ready to go again next year.

We finished the river with no more problems and headed back to the cabin. We cooked out and just had fun hanging out. It is now tradition to play a few games of flip cup, so we invited the boys from the cabin next to us to partake in the excitement. They said they were 21, but honestly I questioned that. Either way, my team kicked ass! The winners were, Charlie, Cari, Clint and Myself. I must admit we did loose one round. Hey we had to let them win at least once. You know for someone who only learned about flip cup a few years ago, I must admit I am a natural talent. Next year I think we need to do a draft, that way I can get compensated for my expertise.

The next morning I woke up at the crack of dawn like an idiot. I cleaned up and sat outside reading Better Homes and Gardens and listening to my IPOD. I know I think I am turning into an old lady. One of the young guys from next door came out. He lit a cigarette and popped open a beer. "Breakfast of Champions," he said. I was like, "if you say so buddy." Um...my guess is he'll be meeting Betty Ford sometime soon in his life.

As the day went on I slowly noticed the bruises coming out. I guess I got beat up a little more than I thought swimming on the ground of the Ocoee. Oh well, I'll call them war wounds and consider them souvenirs from my trip. That is until someone thinks I am being beat up at home. I'll cross that bridge if it comes.

I had so much fun this weekend and miss all my girls already. You too Charlie! It has been hard making new friends up North, but this weekend really reminded me what great friends I have back home. I know you guys are always there for me and am glad I can put you in my TRUE friend category.

4th of July

Sorry for neglecting ya'll but my life has been pretty busy lately.

One of the ladies from work, Natalie, invited me out to her house in Queens for a 4th of July BBQ. Needless to say I jumped at the chance to not be by myself and to really see what these northern folks called BBQ. She picked me up in her old neighborhood in Brooklyn and we headed to the butcher to pick up the holiday fixin's.

Now you have to imagine Natalie, she is Italian and straight up Brooklyn! She moved out of the neighborhood because too many Manhatanites were taking over. First we went to get "Cwawfee" (coffee) and then headed to meet Carmine, the butcher. This woman talks about her butcher all the time so I just had to meet him. I walked in and there they were, 4 Italian men standing behind the counter. Carmine, the owner, Tony his brother, Vinny a worker and Mike, the one legged man. Yes and he even has a one legged dog, he showed me a picture. They all asked for a hug and you know me, I'm from the south, we ain't afraid to hug. I think they just wanted to see if "they were real", if you know what I mean. Gotta love Italian men. Anyway, they talked shit, we talked shit and got our meat to go. After leaving the butcher we stopped and got the paper at the corner store then headed off to Queens.

I had such a good time. Natalie's husband kept feeding me Vodka and Lemonade, and I had my first official Italian sausage and peppers sandwich. We had meat on a stick, ribs, burgers, hot dogs, potato salad, macaroni salad, and cole slaw. There was no BBQ chicken, which is just a sin in my book, but all in all this group of Northerners did pretty darn good. Shoot I would of been happy with just the Vodka :)

Sunday I took my first trip to the Jersey Shore. I did my research and Long Branch beach was the easiest trip to take by train. The train station is literally 3 blocks from the beach. You have to pay to go on all the beaches up here, so I paid my little $5 and settled in. I am not really sure what you pay for. Supposedly to keep the beach clean but I snuggled up next to an empty Corona bottle and quite a few cigarette butts, so I am not really sure where my hard earned money is going. I was just happy to hear the waves, read my book and of coarse people watch. Which leads me to my story...

So I officially know why people make fun of Jersey Girls. As I was walking to the beach there was this chic in front of me with high heels on, big ass gold hoop earrings and her Prada sunglasses. First thing, she nearly ran me over on the sidewalk, only to step into the street and almost bust her ass trying to walk in her heels. Why you wear high heels to the beach, I really don't know. I digress. We both paid for our beach passes, she took off her heels and proceeded to walk down the beach to find a spot. Now granted it isn't that hot up here, but the sand can get kind of warm. Next thing I heard her on her cell phone telling her friend how her feet were burning in the sand. Why the hell didn't you wear flip flops then. On top of that the sand is not that clean, and I know flip flops don't really help that much but it is peace of mind in my book just to know I am not stepping on cigarette butts with my bare feet. Anyway I saw her put her stuff down and made sure I walked quite a bit past her. I just couldn't handle it. Now I know why people make fun of Jersey Girls, some of them are a hamburger short of a Happy Meal!