Once again cupid is playing his tricks! My whole life I pictured Cupid as a cute chubby gay man trying to find love for everyone. Now I am convinced he is a fat, bitter, straight white man who hates women!
Recently I went out of my typical genre and dated a Puerto Rican named Dino. Yes this is his name. The fact that I could get over this in general, should tell you how cool he was. We went out only 3 times, but we had the best time. The conversation was good, he met the height requirements and he could keep up with my sarcasm. Well like all good things this too just came to an end.
We just went out this past Saturday and had a good time at Dave and Busters. Now yes I did beat him at every game, but as a man he took it pretty well. So needless to say I thought this one was a keeper. Come to find out he is just like Berger!!! He dumped me over a post it! Well a text message this day in age.
I have only been dumped one other time through text message. I'm sure he is reading this post and he knows who he is...but I'm over that. Dino is a 40 year old, grown ass man with 2 kids. There is no excuse for a text message. Most of you who know me, know I'm not the chic to flip out. Especially since we only went on 3 dates. But really you aren't man enough to call me and tell me. Instead on Monday morning while I'm at work I get this text...."just wanted to let you know I'm going to pass...-good luck to you in the future...-god bless you and your family..." Really he is going to pass?
So needless to say this gets a delete and on to the next....
Monday, February 13, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Some Hood Sh*t
This past Saturday I went out with my friend Karina to a lounge, La Lenea, in Manhattan. She had been there before and promised me some good hip hop and an older crowd. So I got my grown and sexy on. Dress and heels, which most of y'all know I don't were to a club! Or out walking in 16 degree weather in the city. 
Me and Karina! I was up at the bar getting drinks when some chic came by and snatched my money out of my hand. This place is long and narrow and of coarse full of people so I couldn't catch the heffer! She only got a $20 but I chased that bitch all the way out side pulling at her to get my money back. I would of caught her if I wasn't wearing my hooker boots! Needless to say the bouncers couldn't do anything so I hope she enjoys my $20. If she was smart she would of put it in the collection plate at church the next day, but something tells me she went to Charlotte Russe to get her a new outfit!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
45 and still no Swagger
First let me give you my golden rule. No matter how you look or how much money you have, if you have swagger and are confident people will be attracted to you. I consider myself one of these people. Not to toot my own horn, but I keeps it real! This is why I will be single the rest of my life.
I went out with some friends to a bar down in the Village early Octoberish. I met this dude who was 45. My friends convinced me to give him a shot because he didn't look or act 45. Personally I feel old in that bar, so I didn't know why a 45 year old would be there, but I don't judge so I said why not. We exchanged numbers. He actually called!! Not texted, called!!! Well this was a good start. I almost didn't know what to do. So we get to talking and he tells me how he is divorced has three kids and is a chef in Brooklyn. His oldest kid is 24, damn!!! But hey, he is a chef and it is nice to meet a guy who doesn't ask me off the bat if I know how to cook. Later in the conversation I find out he works at a grocery store deli. I guess technically he still could be a chef, but when you say chef I think restaurant, not deli. Still trying to be positive I keep the lines of communication open.
2 weeks later this fool finally asks me out! Where does he want to go....the movies to see The Three Musketeers, he is a big fan. Now I personally think a movie on the first date is a bad thing, I mean you can't really talk and get to know each other, but I said yes. I wasn't excited about the movie, but half the time I just go for the popcorn anyway. So we met at a theatre in Times Square. He bought the movie and I bought the popcorn. Note for all the men that follow this blog, if a girl offers to pay for anything on the first date, tell her NO! Then if she insists let her pay. Us women are only offering to be polite and we expect a man to challenge us on it, it is a test! At least for the first date.
We get into the movie theatre and are chatting while we wait for the movie to start. About 10 min after the movie was suppose to start the a theatre worker comes in to tell us they are having technical difficulties and the movie will start soon. Some guy down in the front row asks for free popcorn. Yeah it was funny, but then my date yells "No I want free McDonald's!" Really showing your class on the first date there buddy.
So the movie still hasn't started so he offers to go put more butter on the popcorn. I told he might as well get a refill while he was at it. Shoot I wanted my money's worth. So he gets up and spills his soda on the ground. Now mind you he didn't clean it up so I assumed the lid was on tight enough and he didn't spill that much. When he comes back he basically slips and falls into his seat. I ask him what he slipped on and he said he spilled the entire soda on the ground. Um...we had large sodas so you can only imagine the river of Sprite going through the theatre. Ya'll know I had a stack full of napkins to go with the greasy popcorn! The old Shannon would of ask him why a grown ass man doesn't attempt to clean up the Big Gulp he just spilt all over the theater, but the new Shannon just let it slide. Then to make matters worse, the guy sitting next to us slips and falls too! I am biting my tongue at this point. Oh and by the way he didn't come back with a refill of popcorn!
So the movie finally starts and it was actually pretty decent. I was chilly so he gave me his coat. I thought OK maybe I can let the other things slide, that was a smooth move. Then he gets up to go to bathroom, 3 times during the movie. He has about 50 keys on a key chain hanging from his belt loop. They jingle the entire way through the theater. He didn't even try to muffle them. People are shushing him and he walks, and has no freakin' clue. Yeah only a bitch like me would remember that I know.
So the movie is over and we are in the lobby getting ready to leave. He runs into an old co-worker and starts talking to him. About 30 seconds into the conversation I realize he is not going to introduce me or acknowledge me to his friend so I decide to take a break and go to the ladies room myself. I come out and he is no were to be found. This fool was in the bathroom again!! I guess its a good thing he spilled the first round of soda, or he would of missed the entire date all together.
All in all the date was OK but he definitely was nervous. You'd think by 45 a guy would know what the hell he was doing and be more confident. We texted a few times the next couple of weeks. Then he called me while I was moving and I didn't call him back the same day. Then next text I got was as follows..."OK I see you do not want to talk to me so I will not call no more." I took this as they easy way out. Delete!
I went out with some friends to a bar down in the Village early Octoberish. I met this dude who was 45. My friends convinced me to give him a shot because he didn't look or act 45. Personally I feel old in that bar, so I didn't know why a 45 year old would be there, but I don't judge so I said why not. We exchanged numbers. He actually called!! Not texted, called!!! Well this was a good start. I almost didn't know what to do. So we get to talking and he tells me how he is divorced has three kids and is a chef in Brooklyn. His oldest kid is 24, damn!!! But hey, he is a chef and it is nice to meet a guy who doesn't ask me off the bat if I know how to cook. Later in the conversation I find out he works at a grocery store deli. I guess technically he still could be a chef, but when you say chef I think restaurant, not deli. Still trying to be positive I keep the lines of communication open.
2 weeks later this fool finally asks me out! Where does he want to go....the movies to see The Three Musketeers, he is a big fan. Now I personally think a movie on the first date is a bad thing, I mean you can't really talk and get to know each other, but I said yes. I wasn't excited about the movie, but half the time I just go for the popcorn anyway. So we met at a theatre in Times Square. He bought the movie and I bought the popcorn. Note for all the men that follow this blog, if a girl offers to pay for anything on the first date, tell her NO! Then if she insists let her pay. Us women are only offering to be polite and we expect a man to challenge us on it, it is a test! At least for the first date.
We get into the movie theatre and are chatting while we wait for the movie to start. About 10 min after the movie was suppose to start the a theatre worker comes in to tell us they are having technical difficulties and the movie will start soon. Some guy down in the front row asks for free popcorn. Yeah it was funny, but then my date yells "No I want free McDonald's!" Really showing your class on the first date there buddy.
So the movie still hasn't started so he offers to go put more butter on the popcorn. I told he might as well get a refill while he was at it. Shoot I wanted my money's worth. So he gets up and spills his soda on the ground. Now mind you he didn't clean it up so I assumed the lid was on tight enough and he didn't spill that much. When he comes back he basically slips and falls into his seat. I ask him what he slipped on and he said he spilled the entire soda on the ground. Um...we had large sodas so you can only imagine the river of Sprite going through the theatre. Ya'll know I had a stack full of napkins to go with the greasy popcorn! The old Shannon would of ask him why a grown ass man doesn't attempt to clean up the Big Gulp he just spilt all over the theater, but the new Shannon just let it slide. Then to make matters worse, the guy sitting next to us slips and falls too! I am biting my tongue at this point. Oh and by the way he didn't come back with a refill of popcorn!
So the movie finally starts and it was actually pretty decent. I was chilly so he gave me his coat. I thought OK maybe I can let the other things slide, that was a smooth move. Then he gets up to go to bathroom, 3 times during the movie. He has about 50 keys on a key chain hanging from his belt loop. They jingle the entire way through the theater. He didn't even try to muffle them. People are shushing him and he walks, and has no freakin' clue. Yeah only a bitch like me would remember that I know.
So the movie is over and we are in the lobby getting ready to leave. He runs into an old co-worker and starts talking to him. About 30 seconds into the conversation I realize he is not going to introduce me or acknowledge me to his friend so I decide to take a break and go to the ladies room myself. I come out and he is no were to be found. This fool was in the bathroom again!! I guess its a good thing he spilled the first round of soda, or he would of missed the entire date all together.
All in all the date was OK but he definitely was nervous. You'd think by 45 a guy would know what the hell he was doing and be more confident. We texted a few times the next couple of weeks. Then he called me while I was moving and I didn't call him back the same day. Then next text I got was as follows..."OK I see you do not want to talk to me so I will not call no more." I took this as they easy way out. Delete!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Welcom to Astoria.
Well I am officially no longer a Jersey Girl. Not that I ever really was but now I can pretend to be a Queens girl that still says Ya'll! Jersey was nice while it lasted, but my broker's idea of an up and coming area was not up and coming fast enough. I decided to cross the river and become a NYer! Astoria definitely has a a different vibe than where I was. It is basically an extension of the city. Lots of Restaurants, shopping and bars. I might actually have a life now.
Moving day was very stressful. It was cold, rainy and my couch didn't fit into my new apartment. By the end of the day I was stressed, out over $1000 for my move and had a couch sitting in the hallway of my building. I had a slight melt down, but realized it all would be worth it in the long run.
The move was really in efforts to save money. I want to buy something in the next few years and the cost of real estate up here is bananas! So, I have a roommate again. Help me Baby Jesus!
There are a few lucky folks that read this, that have had the pleasure of meeting my friend Andy. If you have not let me give you a inkling of what my life will now be on a daily basis. He is a 25 year old who has never lived on his own. Up until 2 weeks ago he lived with his parents. He is Chinese so his mother treats him like a God and does everything for him. I just found out he has never cleaned a bathroom in his life. He would rather spend money on going to bars and getting drunk, than on furniture. The first night at our new apartment he asked me if I would wake him up in the morning. I kindly replied "You better figure out the F*C&ing alarm clock on your cell phone!" He does have some good points though, he is considerate, washes the dishes, cooks a good steak and shuts up when I tell him too! Needless to say I have to teach him a lot about being a grown ass man on his own, but hey what is life without challenges.
Once all is settled I will post pics of the new place. It isn't as nice as my new apartment in Jersey, but it has character for sure! No freakin' electrical outlet in the bathroom....but it has character!
Moving day was very stressful. It was cold, rainy and my couch didn't fit into my new apartment. By the end of the day I was stressed, out over $1000 for my move and had a couch sitting in the hallway of my building. I had a slight melt down, but realized it all would be worth it in the long run.
The move was really in efforts to save money. I want to buy something in the next few years and the cost of real estate up here is bananas! So, I have a roommate again. Help me Baby Jesus!
There are a few lucky folks that read this, that have had the pleasure of meeting my friend Andy. If you have not let me give you a inkling of what my life will now be on a daily basis. He is a 25 year old who has never lived on his own. Up until 2 weeks ago he lived with his parents. He is Chinese so his mother treats him like a God and does everything for him. I just found out he has never cleaned a bathroom in his life. He would rather spend money on going to bars and getting drunk, than on furniture. The first night at our new apartment he asked me if I would wake him up in the morning. I kindly replied "You better figure out the F*C&ing alarm clock on your cell phone!" He does have some good points though, he is considerate, washes the dishes, cooks a good steak and shuts up when I tell him too! Needless to say I have to teach him a lot about being a grown ass man on his own, but hey what is life without challenges.
Once all is settled I will post pics of the new place. It isn't as nice as my new apartment in Jersey, but it has character for sure! No freakin' electrical outlet in the bathroom....but it has character!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Cape Cod
My co-worker and friend Jim, invited me up to Cape Cod for my birthday weekend. His mom owns a house up there and him and his wife were headed up for the holiday. Y'all know I don't' turn down a free trip, so of coarse I accepted. The weather was beautiful and we got lots of sight seeing and relaxing in.
The first day we went for a 20 mile bike ride. Yes 20 miles! We stopped to see the cranberry bogs. It was harvest time and everything had just been flooded.
The first day we went for a 20 mile bike ride. Yes 20 miles! We stopped to see the cranberry bogs. It was harvest time and everything had just been flooded.
We ended the day with a Champagne sunset on the bay. Don't be jealous.
The next day we went to Provence, AKA P-Town. P-Town is my kind of town. It reminded me a lot of Charleston. Artsy, great food, and full of gays!!! Lets talk about the food though! I had my heart set on getting lobster. I usually don't indulge in such extravagant meals, but when in Rome! Yes it was as fantastic as it looks!
Monday we left early to beat the traffic. Unfortunately everyone else had the same idea. Even though it took us 2 hours longer to get home, it was so worth the trip. I can cross New England off the bucket list! Monday, October 3, 2011
Idiot 1 and Idiogt 2
The consensus is everyone loves my dating stories. While they are usually few and far between I thought I'd post to fill ya'll in on my love life. So here goes....
Idiot 1
I actually met a guy out at a bar! Turns out, yes, men do know how to approach a women up here! They just don't know how to pick up a phone and call. They only know how to text. Maybe its a generational thing but I just can't get over it. Anyway....after texting for about a week, we finally made plans to meet. Where does he want to take me, Wick ed Willies, the bar we met at. Now let me set the scene for ya'll. Wicked Willies is exactly what it sounds like. A dive bar, with a horrible cover band, and light up beer pong tables in the back. Needless to say this fella was taking me to classy places! Anyone who knows me, knows I don't need fancy things, so I agreed to meet him. 15 minutes before I was suppose to leave, he text me and cancels. He says his kid is sick. Note to all you young bucks out there, if you call a girl and have an actual conversation, not text-ation, you might end up telling her you have a kid! Needless to say I was shocked by the kid news, and the cancellation. My new years resolution was to not write people off so quick, so I did the mature thing and said I understood, maybe another time, yada yada yada. So we make plans to meet up at the same bar the next week. Again, before we are suppose to meet he calls me and says he can't find a sitter. Funny how he couldn't find a sitter in a week huh. So I politely tell him, my time is valuable and this ain't gonna work out. He starts pleading with me, no let me make it up to you blah blah blah. So at this point I'm just after a free meal. So we make plans the next week to go to a fancier bar! Yes this bar did not have beer pong tables. I made it very clear that if he was to cancel on me again he can just delete my number. I know you guys can see it coming....he cancels again. Below is the exact 4 text, text message I received please note I did not correct the grammar:
Hello! how are you? I hope all is well...I know u told me if I cancel on u one more time that u will not talking to me again well I guess this is good bye and it was pleasure meeting you even though we didn't get a chance to see each other again...I really thought today would have been a easy day for me to hangout but I guess, tomorrow is a better day for me in which we can spend a great quality time together but I know u not going to except that so I like I said earlier in the text it was nice meeting u thank you for ur time that night.
So I immediately deleted his number like I said I would and never responded....fast forward 3 weeks later....this fool text me again. The text chain is as follow once again I did not correct his grammar:
Idiot 1: I was thinking of you over the weekend.
Me: Who is this?
Idiot 1 : Damn you did delete my number...its Idiot 1
Me: So why were you thinking of me
Idiot 1: Cuz I'm still interested.
Me: Sorry buddy you had your shot!
Idiot 1: I'm reaching out to you again, honestly I really wanted to chill with you, I'm not give up, I'm not a quitter
Me: It's really not up to you. U had your shot, I'm over it!
Idiot 1: SMH
(PS I had to google SMH)
Idiot 2
I'm working out at the gym and this trainer dude comes over to me. Yeah yeah I know he wants me to buy sessions, but he offers me a free work out. Shit, I ain't gonna turn down a free anything! Of coarse I get roped into buying 4 sessions, but hey I thought it would help give me some ideas to switch up my work outs, plus he was flirting so I was hoping I would get some more free sessions thrown my way!
So I go for my first official session and we get to talking about how crazy it is a girl like me is single blah blah blah the same shit all guys say. He invites me out to the LES (lower east side for you non-NYers). Says there are tons of nice lounges and I'm sure I'd find a spot I liked. So I said OK lets do it. And here starts the reason I call him Idiot 2.
We meet at a nice restaurant/lounge. First things first, I give him a hug hello and he has BO. Then, ya'll tell me, but if you meet someone at a restaurant at 8pm don't you think you are eating dinner first? Well we didn't. This dude already got 2 strikes, but like I said, I'm trying to be optimistic in my old age. He suggest we sit next to the window and order a glass of sangria. OK this sounds nice. So if you never been to NY they try to cram as many tables and chairs in a spot as they can. So when we sit by the window it is literally lined with 2 seater tables butted against one another. The waiter has to pull a table for me to get to the window seat. So we have our glass of sangria, he proceeds to tell me how he is 44, has a 10 year old son, and use to be and actor. He made $1.5 million dollars as an actor and has invested it into 5 different companies. Next he tells me how he is getting his PHD at Columbia University and considers himself a "life coach". Ah shit, what have I gotten myself into. So after we finish our drinks and he is done analyzing me, he wants to take me to a lounge. You know I really wanted to ask why we weren't eating, but I'm trying not to be a pushy chic anymore. I heard it turns guys off :). So he gets up and starts to leave. He is half way to the door before I yell, um can you help pull the table out so I can join you. I know we are in a world of women's lib, but damn can you help a girl pull out the 50 lb table that has her locked into this freakin' window seat. Shoot!
Next he takes me to a lounge a few doors down. He paid for the sangria so I offer to buy the next round and he accepts. (Remember this for later in the post). I can already tell this is going to be a long night so I order a dirty martini to go with his Hennesy and Coke. Funny how when I offer to pay he gets expensive taste huh. The best part of it all is...the lounge he as brought me to is a GAY one! Now don't get me wrong I love me a gay bar, but to go to a gay bar on a date with a straight man is a bit weird, no? And I'm not talking a bar that has a rainbow sticker on the outside, I'm talking a gay bar that is playing gay porn on the TV! So I ask him, you really come to this place a lot? Its a gay bar right? Yeah but they have good happy hour. Um...so does the straight bar next door. But I'm not trying to judge.
After we leave the gay bar we head to a dive bar up the street. He buys the next round, but I'm thinking I need to keep my wits about me on this date so I order a cider beer, yeah I know real girly. He orders another Henny and Coke. We sit down at a table by the bar and he proceeds to ask me when the last time I had sex was. Damn Gina! Really on a first date! I tell that him, this an inappropriate question and I'm not going to answer it. He still probes me for the answer. After this, him telling me about myself and why I'm still single, and a night of emotionally draining conversations, I officially decide this fool ain't getting a second date and its time to call it a night. Turns out he lives back in Jersey City like me, so we catch a cab to the train and ride back together. I pay for the cab because he got the last round and I don't want this fool to be one up on me in the buying category. We go downstairs to catch the train, and for those who don't know, it is hot as hell down in the subway. So this cat is sweating through his shirt. I'm not talking glistening, this dude is soaking wet! Then he tries to be all up on me and gets upset that I push him away because I don't want his sweaty ass all up on me. Well I guess this hurt his feelings :) He stood on the other side of the train the entire way home. Really, your 44 years old get over it buddy.
So a week goes bye and I don't see him at the gym and he hasn't called. Then I get a text message, from him telling me what a great time he had yada yada yada. Could of fooled me if it took him a week to contact me. Ya'll know I have already wrote this fool off, but I was hungry, so we make plans to meet for lunch after he finishes with a client at the gym. I picked a place close to my house because I am not traveling for this fool. We meet at this Cuban restaurant up by my house called Grove Street Cafe. Now the name of the restaurant is clearly plastered on the awning of the building. This idiot tried to convince me that wasn't the name of the restaurant. I'm already reconsidering if this is worth the free meal.
First he tells me how he dated a woman on-line for 2 years and when she finally came to NY she wouldn't have sex with him because she wasn't comfortable with her body image. Yes folks this is how date number 2 started. Then he proceeds to tell me how his Friday night went. How he went out with one of his male clients to a lesbian bar and how him and his friend had to "pretend" to be gay so the bouncer would let them in. Evidently there are a lot of straight guys that try to get in and see the lesbian action. Seriously I can't make this shit up ya'll. Thank god my lunch came and I could focus on something else. Then he starts to apologize for not calling me and I told him he was lucky I made a my new years resolution, because after last weekend he wouldn't of gotten a second date. Then he asks me what he did wrong. The fact that I have to tell him is bad enough but I believe in reform so I point out all the issues with our first date. Then this fool has the nerve to tell me that as a life coach it is his job to analyze people and people want to know how they are perceived by others. I explain to him that I could care less what other people thought and that any thing he says is strictly his opinion. He again tells me I'm wrong. I just tell him, lets just agree to disagree. I didn't have any energy left to argue. Next he tells me how he is the highest paid trainer at the gym and if he focuses he could make up to $100,000 this year. I simply say that people who throw their money around don't impress me, especially with that amount. So then the check comes. I don't even reach for my purse. He picks up the check, then says to me...and I want you to know I paid for this because I wanted to! Ok well thanks for pointing it out to me that you paid the check. I would of never known unless you told me, thank you. Then he proceeds to tell me he shouldn't of let me pay for anything last week when we went out either. So I answer in my fed up tone, "then you should of manned up and told me to put my wallet away! Don't say you could of should of after the fact. If you want to pay for a woman, you pay for a woman. You don't pay then point out the fact that you paid!" I told him thanks for lunch and I'll see him at the gym. Then he text me and said it was a turn on that no woman had ever put him in his place like that. Then I deleted his number....!
Idiot 1
I actually met a guy out at a bar! Turns out, yes, men do know how to approach a women up here! They just don't know how to pick up a phone and call. They only know how to text. Maybe its a generational thing but I just can't get over it. Anyway....after texting for about a week, we finally made plans to meet. Where does he want to take me, Wick ed Willies, the bar we met at. Now let me set the scene for ya'll. Wicked Willies is exactly what it sounds like. A dive bar, with a horrible cover band, and light up beer pong tables in the back. Needless to say this fella was taking me to classy places! Anyone who knows me, knows I don't need fancy things, so I agreed to meet him. 15 minutes before I was suppose to leave, he text me and cancels. He says his kid is sick. Note to all you young bucks out there, if you call a girl and have an actual conversation, not text-ation, you might end up telling her you have a kid! Needless to say I was shocked by the kid news, and the cancellation. My new years resolution was to not write people off so quick, so I did the mature thing and said I understood, maybe another time, yada yada yada. So we make plans to meet up at the same bar the next week. Again, before we are suppose to meet he calls me and says he can't find a sitter. Funny how he couldn't find a sitter in a week huh. So I politely tell him, my time is valuable and this ain't gonna work out. He starts pleading with me, no let me make it up to you blah blah blah. So at this point I'm just after a free meal. So we make plans the next week to go to a fancier bar! Yes this bar did not have beer pong tables. I made it very clear that if he was to cancel on me again he can just delete my number. I know you guys can see it coming....he cancels again. Below is the exact 4 text, text message I received please note I did not correct the grammar:
Hello! how are you? I hope all is well...I know u told me if I cancel on u one more time that u will not talking to me again well I guess this is good bye and it was pleasure meeting you even though we didn't get a chance to see each other again...I really thought today would have been a easy day for me to hangout but I guess, tomorrow is a better day for me in which we can spend a great quality time together but I know u not going to except that so I like I said earlier in the text it was nice meeting u thank you for ur time that night.
So I immediately deleted his number like I said I would and never responded....fast forward 3 weeks later....this fool text me again. The text chain is as follow once again I did not correct his grammar:
Idiot 1: I was thinking of you over the weekend.
Me: Who is this?
Idiot 1 : Damn you did delete my number...its Idiot 1
Me: So why were you thinking of me
Idiot 1: Cuz I'm still interested.
Me: Sorry buddy you had your shot!
Idiot 1: I'm reaching out to you again, honestly I really wanted to chill with you, I'm not give up, I'm not a quitter
Me: It's really not up to you. U had your shot, I'm over it!
Idiot 1: SMH
(PS I had to google SMH)
Idiot 2
I'm working out at the gym and this trainer dude comes over to me. Yeah yeah I know he wants me to buy sessions, but he offers me a free work out. Shit, I ain't gonna turn down a free anything! Of coarse I get roped into buying 4 sessions, but hey I thought it would help give me some ideas to switch up my work outs, plus he was flirting so I was hoping I would get some more free sessions thrown my way!
So I go for my first official session and we get to talking about how crazy it is a girl like me is single blah blah blah the same shit all guys say. He invites me out to the LES (lower east side for you non-NYers). Says there are tons of nice lounges and I'm sure I'd find a spot I liked. So I said OK lets do it. And here starts the reason I call him Idiot 2.
We meet at a nice restaurant/lounge. First things first, I give him a hug hello and he has BO. Then, ya'll tell me, but if you meet someone at a restaurant at 8pm don't you think you are eating dinner first? Well we didn't. This dude already got 2 strikes, but like I said, I'm trying to be optimistic in my old age. He suggest we sit next to the window and order a glass of sangria. OK this sounds nice. So if you never been to NY they try to cram as many tables and chairs in a spot as they can. So when we sit by the window it is literally lined with 2 seater tables butted against one another. The waiter has to pull a table for me to get to the window seat. So we have our glass of sangria, he proceeds to tell me how he is 44, has a 10 year old son, and use to be and actor. He made $1.5 million dollars as an actor and has invested it into 5 different companies. Next he tells me how he is getting his PHD at Columbia University and considers himself a "life coach". Ah shit, what have I gotten myself into. So after we finish our drinks and he is done analyzing me, he wants to take me to a lounge. You know I really wanted to ask why we weren't eating, but I'm trying not to be a pushy chic anymore. I heard it turns guys off :). So he gets up and starts to leave. He is half way to the door before I yell, um can you help pull the table out so I can join you. I know we are in a world of women's lib, but damn can you help a girl pull out the 50 lb table that has her locked into this freakin' window seat. Shoot!
Next he takes me to a lounge a few doors down. He paid for the sangria so I offer to buy the next round and he accepts. (Remember this for later in the post). I can already tell this is going to be a long night so I order a dirty martini to go with his Hennesy and Coke. Funny how when I offer to pay he gets expensive taste huh. The best part of it all is...the lounge he as brought me to is a GAY one! Now don't get me wrong I love me a gay bar, but to go to a gay bar on a date with a straight man is a bit weird, no? And I'm not talking a bar that has a rainbow sticker on the outside, I'm talking a gay bar that is playing gay porn on the TV! So I ask him, you really come to this place a lot? Its a gay bar right? Yeah but they have good happy hour. Um...so does the straight bar next door. But I'm not trying to judge.
After we leave the gay bar we head to a dive bar up the street. He buys the next round, but I'm thinking I need to keep my wits about me on this date so I order a cider beer, yeah I know real girly. He orders another Henny and Coke. We sit down at a table by the bar and he proceeds to ask me when the last time I had sex was. Damn Gina! Really on a first date! I tell that him, this an inappropriate question and I'm not going to answer it. He still probes me for the answer. After this, him telling me about myself and why I'm still single, and a night of emotionally draining conversations, I officially decide this fool ain't getting a second date and its time to call it a night. Turns out he lives back in Jersey City like me, so we catch a cab to the train and ride back together. I pay for the cab because he got the last round and I don't want this fool to be one up on me in the buying category. We go downstairs to catch the train, and for those who don't know, it is hot as hell down in the subway. So this cat is sweating through his shirt. I'm not talking glistening, this dude is soaking wet! Then he tries to be all up on me and gets upset that I push him away because I don't want his sweaty ass all up on me. Well I guess this hurt his feelings :) He stood on the other side of the train the entire way home. Really, your 44 years old get over it buddy.
So a week goes bye and I don't see him at the gym and he hasn't called. Then I get a text message, from him telling me what a great time he had yada yada yada. Could of fooled me if it took him a week to contact me. Ya'll know I have already wrote this fool off, but I was hungry, so we make plans to meet for lunch after he finishes with a client at the gym. I picked a place close to my house because I am not traveling for this fool. We meet at this Cuban restaurant up by my house called Grove Street Cafe. Now the name of the restaurant is clearly plastered on the awning of the building. This idiot tried to convince me that wasn't the name of the restaurant. I'm already reconsidering if this is worth the free meal.
First he tells me how he dated a woman on-line for 2 years and when she finally came to NY she wouldn't have sex with him because she wasn't comfortable with her body image. Yes folks this is how date number 2 started. Then he proceeds to tell me how his Friday night went. How he went out with one of his male clients to a lesbian bar and how him and his friend had to "pretend" to be gay so the bouncer would let them in. Evidently there are a lot of straight guys that try to get in and see the lesbian action. Seriously I can't make this shit up ya'll. Thank god my lunch came and I could focus on something else. Then he starts to apologize for not calling me and I told him he was lucky I made a my new years resolution, because after last weekend he wouldn't of gotten a second date. Then he asks me what he did wrong. The fact that I have to tell him is bad enough but I believe in reform so I point out all the issues with our first date. Then this fool has the nerve to tell me that as a life coach it is his job to analyze people and people want to know how they are perceived by others. I explain to him that I could care less what other people thought and that any thing he says is strictly his opinion. He again tells me I'm wrong. I just tell him, lets just agree to disagree. I didn't have any energy left to argue. Next he tells me how he is the highest paid trainer at the gym and if he focuses he could make up to $100,000 this year. I simply say that people who throw their money around don't impress me, especially with that amount. So then the check comes. I don't even reach for my purse. He picks up the check, then says to me...and I want you to know I paid for this because I wanted to! Ok well thanks for pointing it out to me that you paid the check. I would of never known unless you told me, thank you. Then he proceeds to tell me he shouldn't of let me pay for anything last week when we went out either. So I answer in my fed up tone, "then you should of manned up and told me to put my wallet away! Don't say you could of should of after the fact. If you want to pay for a woman, you pay for a woman. You don't pay then point out the fact that you paid!" I told him thanks for lunch and I'll see him at the gym. Then he text me and said it was a turn on that no woman had ever put him in his place like that. Then I deleted his number....!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Break it down now!
So lets recap the last few months.
February = reality
That's what I've been up to in a nut shell. Oh yeah still single but have been dating. Um..I stress though, still single! :)
Christmas
Went to Disney with my Mom. Hard to believe neither one of us had ever been at Christmas time. It was fantastic, however if you want to actually ride the rides don't go at Christmas. Go a few weeks earlier. Then you get the best of both worlds, rides, less people and Christmas decorations. We did all the parks in 3 days so it was definitely a world wind vacation but so worth it. Christmas day we went to Epcot, watched the candle light processional and had a very expensive dinner. The best part though was when we were watching the choir sing and my mom goes, "I love the lady doing hand signals." Yup that would be my Mom talking about the sign linguist. Gotta love it. That is why you shouldn't drink beer and watch the candlelight procession! Long story short we had a fabulous Christmas and we didn't kill each other, even better!
There were huge storms in NY so my flight home got canceled. They couldn't get me out until Friday so needless to say I decided to stay thru the New Year. The original plan was to head to Jacksonville and watch my nieces while Erika and her husband went out for New Years. Well lets just say that didn't happen. My Mom came home from Disney with a slight cough and cold. She slept for 2 days when we got home and I thought she was just taking medicine and sleeping. Well as I was leaving to go to Jacksonville something told me to check on her. I found her incoherent and barley breathing. I called 911 and rushed her to the ER. After 5 days in the hospital and every test known to man she was released. She doesn't remember much and the doctors never could figure out what was wrong. Another long story short she is doing fine now, but thank God for snow in NY or she would of been by herself!
January = Hawaii
Thanks to my Uncle never wanting to go anywhere, my Aunt invited me and my Grandma to Hawaii. Needless to say I didn't even hesitate to say yes. We went to Maui and did every single thing a tourist could do in a week. We did manage to get our beach time in though. The best thing was my Grandmother telling me to put on sunscreen. Um..she just had 6 skin cancer spots removed and is talking about she wants to get just a little more color. Who needs the sunscreen lady! We did take a day trip Oahu and did the 8 hour tour of the island. Pearl Harbor, Dole Plantation, Waikiki, the Pipeline and ate shrimp out of a truck. Only in Hawaii. I don't even eat food out of a truck in NY!
February = realityBig surprise, my life is boring again. Wish I had a lot to post about this month, but same old same old.
March = better days
I am finally getting out and about with a couple of friends from work. Yes I am proud to say I finally have a social life. Don't get too excited though, I'm still too old to hang with most of them, but it is nice to have friends who want to go out and do things.
Work has been crazy busy, but I am finally getting some good opportunities. We are finishing our new flagship store up the street so this past weekend I took some BBQ up to the construction guys and saw the finished product. They had been working insane OT, so they really appreciated the pulled pork! While I was in the city I decided to see what kind of discount Broadway shows I could see. For those of you who don't know the half price ticket office now has apps for IPhones and Androids. You can see what shows and what discounts are available before you go all the way down to Time Square. I decided to see American Idiot. I've been wanting to see it for a bit and when I saw it on sale for half price I was so excited! Yes I did go by myself, but hey you do what you gotta do. The show was FANTASTIC! Plus I didn't know Justin Guarani (American idol runner up) was in it. Thank God though the seat next to me was empty because this big girl was sitting next to me. The seats are very cramped and both of us next to each other was not a good look.
That's what I've been up to in a nut shell. Oh yeah still single but have been dating. Um..I stress though, still single! :)
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