Odds and Ends

I know its been a while since I have posted, but work has been crazy busy. By the time I get home, getting on the computer is the last thing I want to do. Here are a few insights I have come across lately.

Deadly Mosquito's - "Shannon you could catch lime disease and die"
Seriously, in the south mosquitoes ain't no thang but a chicken wang. I mean we have them, we deal with them, and we go about our daily life. Up here they are like the plague! I was out in Queens last weekend and one got in the house. I never saw such an effort to kill a living thing. I mean it was a full family effort to kill the one little bug that came in. I asked what the big deal was and was told that mosquitoes carry all kinds of diseases and many northerners are allergic. I swear I will never understand up here. I mean I see people sitting on the sidewalk that pigeons shit on, people spit on and God knows what else. I see people purchase a pretzel from a street vendor that has been sitting out in the open for every germ on earth to soak into it. I see people dig in the trash and find what is a so called treat, but one little mosquito can be the down fall of life on earth as we know it. Gotta Love it!

Chivalry is still alive - Last week heading home on the train a gentleman actually gave me his seat at 5:00 rush hour. I was so shocked. Then I had to wonder, did he think my fat ass was pregnant or something? But no I think he was genuinely a nice guy. Then it became contagious. The man a few seats down gave his seat up for another lady. It was a row full of woman sitting on one side of the train. Praise Jesus, there are some nice gentlemen out there. Then of coarse the next morning I was brought to reality, when an elderly woman with a cane got on in the morning and not one man gave up their seat. Finally a woman got up to give her seat to the elderly lady. I guess I couldn't expect it two days in a row.

UF = "You Fuck" up here.
Now that Football season has started I have to represent on athletic Fridays at the office, so I usually wear a Gator tee. Yesterday I wore a shirt that simply said UF and had a Gator head on it. I think 4 people in the office said to me "UF what does that mean, you fuck!" Damn NYers and their attitudes. I had to laugh though because it is so typical of up here. I must admit though I am slowly spreading Gator Pride through the office. Last weekend I got Natalie to watch a little of the game and this weekend our purchasing director promised to catch some of the game against Kentucky. I had to promise to catch some of the Yankee game, but hey that is an even trade.

Jelly Apples with Coconut
Gross!!!! Now I shouldn't knock anything I haven't tried, but I think there should be candy and carmel apples only. I shouldn't be surprised they put jelly on everything up here. In the northerners defense though, southerners will slop jelly on a chicken biscuit in a minute. I guess we all have different tastes.

Suki - this one is for you

So a few of my Asian friends gave me a little crap for saying that the Asian community up here is too extra. Now when I say this I mean that they do things that just aren't necessary. For example, running across the street when you have the right of way. No one is going to hit you lady. Pushing their way thru a line of 4 people to be the first person to get on an empty train. There are plenty of seats and they train ain't going anywhere for a few minutes. And my example for today is this: now please keep in mind my train leaves every 2 minutes so if you miss one, another will be along very soon!

I followed a Asian lady from my building this morning to the train. We were both walking at a brisk pace, but once we got across the street she started running. Now mind you she is in her work clothes, including her heeled loafers. She runs for 5 seconds, then walks. Runs for 5 seconds, then walks. I was getting more tired just watching her. Every time she would run, damned if I didn't catch up with her at the light. We would walk across the street together, then she would run for 5 seconds then walk. This repeated the entire 15 minutes walk to the train. Then she ran down the stairs to wait for the train. Now lets remember, I am from the south and no matter how hard I try I will never walk as fast as these people up here, but I walked a steady pace, not breaking a sweat, and damned if we didn't both catch the same train. See what I mean, just extra!!!!

A Bi*#ch named Anna and an A#@hole named Bill

I know this post is a little late coming, but better late than never.

I flew to Ft. Lauderdale to set sail on a much needed cruise. Of coarse this trip was my normal drama with the airports, but I'm tired of blogging and sure ya'll are tired of hearing about that. I haven't been on a cruise in a few years so I decided it was time to reinstate the tradition. My Grandmother and Aunt Kim went along, so it was a girls vacation for sure.

This was the worrying sight from the deck as we headed out to sea. Tropical store Anna trying to mess up my Vacation, BITCH! Anyway as we were unpacking and getting settled in, the Cruise director made an announcement we would be headed to Nassau first, instead of last, to sail around the storm. The other port of calls would have to wait to see what the storms were going to do. So here we are setting sail on a Mystery Cruise. We would be updated daily on what port we were heading to next.

All three of us had visited Nassau several times, so we slept in a little, had a leisurely breakfast then headed to the island. I felt like I was back on Canal Street in NY. The straw market is nothing but knock offs now. Add in some Asians and you got Canal Street, island style. My Aunt had promised a few of her girl friends purses and wallets, so after we did our shopping we had to hit up Senor Frogs. Now you would think it was me that wanted to go, oh no, my Grandmother insisted on getting her yard of margarita so she could add the glass to her collection. I hope when I'm 79, I'm still downing margarita's too!

It wouldn't be my normal trip to the islands without getting a comment about my ass. Gotta love how Island men can really appreciate those who are blessed :) Good thing my Grandmother had already gone back to the ship.

Well back on the ship they announced we were going off schedule and heading to Ocho Rios, Jamaica!!! Hurricane Bill had just got upgraded, and was headed to Puerto Rico, ASSHOLE. I had already been to Ocho Rios, but neither my Aunt or Grandmother had. We were all excited anyway just to be going somewhere with sunshine. Within the hour Anna had dropped to a tropical depression and Bill turned away from Puerto Rico, so the captain changed our coarse again and we were headed back to San Juan like originally planned. I was a little bummed not to see Jamaica, but I had never been to San Juan, so I was excited at the same time.

Old San Juan is a beautiful city. Gorgeous architecture, churches, flowers, blah blah blah. It might be pretty but they got some crazy folks down there! Now I have become a little more accustom to crazy people now that I work in Manhattan, but at least up here the sidewalks are wide enough you can walk away. As you can see the sidewalks are very narrow in San Juan and the only way to pass people is to go in the street. So I see this lady coming who looks like she has some kind of skin disease, and she is having all kinds of conversations with herself. I took the risk of jumping into the street. Lord knows what her crazy ass might of done to this gringa!

Due to our Mystery Cruise we knew we were not going to make it to Antigua so we decided to do the zip line in San Juan. Unfortunately we had to take the 5:30 tour so most of our zipping was in the blackness of night, but we still had a good time. Now it was dark, but I still don't think we were actually in a "rain forest." I felt like we were just zipping through the trees in the woods, but hey they were Puerto Rican woods, so it was still an adventure.

Next was St. Thomas, UVI. This was another island we had been to before so we just went to the beach. Honestly, this is my favorite thing to do on cruises. My fat ass rented a float and floated in the ocean soaking up sun for the entire day. Needless to say I should of reapplied the sunblock, but hey no pain no gain.

Lastly we hit the British Virgin Island of Tortola. Yeah I had never heard of it before either. We decided to take a tour at this island. All of us were a little over the sun and thought it would be nice to get a little education on this port. We took a open air truck through the island seeing everything from monuments to the dedication of a traffic light. The best thing of all was the Bomba Shack, aka the nudey bar. Gotta love the high end tourist attractions!

Other highlights of the trip included our wait staff dancing to "Low" by Flo Rida, the week long joke with a man named Dick Little, and the drama with the boyfriends at the dinner table next to us. We drank, relaxed, partied and some lost money in the casino (um..no it wasn't me). All in all it was an amazing vacation and I am still living vicariously through my memories.