Cape Cod

My co-worker and friend Jim, invited me up to Cape Cod for my birthday weekend. His mom owns a house up there and him and his wife were headed up for the holiday. Y'all know I don't' turn down a free trip, so of coarse I accepted. The weather was beautiful and we got lots of sight seeing and relaxing in.

The first day we went for a 20 mile bike ride. Yes 20 miles! We stopped to see the cranberry bogs. It was harvest time and everything had just been flooded.

We ended the day with a Champagne sunset on the bay. Don't be jealous.


The next day we went to Provence, AKA P-Town. P-Town is my kind of town. It reminded me a lot of Charleston. Artsy, great food, and full of gays!!! Lets talk about the food though! I had my heart set on getting lobster. I usually don't indulge in such extravagant meals, but when in Rome! Yes it was as fantastic as it looks!Monday we left early to beat the traffic. Unfortunately everyone else had the same idea. Even though it took us 2 hours longer to get home, it was so worth the trip. I can cross New England off the bucket list!

Idiot 1 and Idiogt 2

The consensus is everyone loves my dating stories. While they are usually few and far between I thought I'd post to fill ya'll in on my love life. So here goes....

Idiot 1

I actually met a guy out at a bar! Turns out, yes, men do know how to approach a women up here! They just don't know how to pick up a phone and call. They only know how to text. Maybe its a generational thing but I just can't get over it. Anyway....after texting for about a week, we finally made plans to meet. Where does he want to take me, Wick ed Willies, the bar we met at. Now let me set the scene for ya'll. Wicked Willies is exactly what it sounds like. A dive bar, with a horrible cover band, and light up beer pong tables in the back. Needless to say this fella was taking me to classy places! Anyone who knows me, knows I don't need fancy things, so I agreed to meet him. 15 minutes before I was suppose to leave, he text me and cancels. He says his kid is sick. Note to all you young bucks out there, if you call a girl and have an actual conversation, not text-ation, you might end up telling her you have a kid! Needless to say I was shocked by the kid news, and the cancellation. My new years resolution was to not write people off so quick, so I did the mature thing and said I understood, maybe another time, yada yada yada. So we make plans to meet up at the same bar the next week. Again, before we are suppose to meet he calls me and says he can't find a sitter. Funny how he couldn't find a sitter in a week huh. So I politely tell him, my time is valuable and this ain't gonna work out. He starts pleading with me, no let me make it up to you blah blah blah. So at this point I'm just after a free meal. So we make plans the next week to go to a fancier bar! Yes this bar did not have beer pong tables. I made it very clear that if he was to cancel on me again he can just delete my number. I know you guys can see it coming....he cancels again. Below is the exact 4 text, text message I received please note I did not correct the grammar:

Hello! how are you? I hope all is well...I know u told me if I cancel on u one more time that u will not talking to me again well I guess this is good bye and it was pleasure meeting you even though we didn't get a chance to see each other again...I really thought today would have been a easy day for me to hangout but I guess, tomorrow is a better day for me in which we can spend a great quality time together but I know u not going to except that so I like I said earlier in the text it was nice meeting u thank you for ur time that night.

So I immediately deleted his number like I said I would and never responded....fast forward 3 weeks later....this fool text me again. The text chain is as follow once again I did not correct his grammar:

Idiot 1: I was thinking of you over the weekend.
Me: Who is this?
Idiot 1 : Damn you did delete my number...its Idiot 1
Me: So why were you thinking of me
Idiot 1: Cuz I'm still interested.
Me: Sorry buddy you had your shot!
Idiot 1: I'm reaching out to you again, honestly I really wanted to chill with you, I'm not give up, I'm not a quitter
Me: It's really not up to you. U had your shot, I'm over it!
Idiot 1: SMH

(PS I had to google SMH)

Idiot 2

I'm working out at the gym and this trainer dude comes over to me. Yeah yeah I know he wants me to buy sessions, but he offers me a free work out. Shit, I ain't gonna turn down a free anything! Of coarse I get roped into buying 4 sessions, but hey I thought it would help give me some ideas to switch up my work outs, plus he was flirting so I was hoping I would get some more free sessions thrown my way!

So I go for my first official session and we get to talking about how crazy it is a girl like me is single blah blah blah the same shit all guys say. He invites me out to the LES (lower east side for you non-NYers). Says there are tons of nice lounges and I'm sure I'd find a spot I liked. So I said OK lets do it. And here starts the reason I call him Idiot 2.

We meet at a nice restaurant/lounge. First things first, I give him a hug hello and he has BO. Then, ya'll tell me, but if you meet someone at a restaurant at 8pm don't you think you are eating dinner first? Well we didn't. This dude already got 2 strikes, but like I said, I'm trying to be optimistic in my old age. He suggest we sit next to the window and order a glass of sangria. OK this sounds nice. So if you never been to NY they try to cram as many tables and chairs in a spot as they can. So when we sit by the window it is literally lined with 2 seater tables butted against one another. The waiter has to pull a table for me to get to the window seat. So we have our glass of sangria, he proceeds to tell me how he is 44, has a 10 year old son, and use to be and actor. He made $1.5 million dollars as an actor and has invested it into 5 different companies. Next he tells me how he is getting his PHD at Columbia University and considers himself a "life coach". Ah shit, what have I gotten myself into. So after we finish our drinks and he is done analyzing me, he wants to take me to a lounge. You know I really wanted to ask why we weren't eating, but I'm trying not to be a pushy chic anymore. I heard it turns guys off :). So he gets up and starts to leave. He is half way to the door before I yell, um can you help pull the table out so I can join you. I know we are in a world of women's lib, but damn can you help a girl pull out the 50 lb table that has her locked into this freakin' window seat. Shoot!

Next he takes me to a lounge a few doors down. He paid for the sangria so I offer to buy the next round and he accepts. (Remember this for later in the post). I can already tell this is going to be a long night so I order a dirty martini to go with his Hennesy and Coke. Funny how when I offer to pay he gets expensive taste huh. The best part of it all is...the lounge he as brought me to is a GAY one! Now don't get me wrong I love me a gay bar, but to go to a gay bar on a date with a straight man is a bit weird, no? And I'm not talking a bar that has a rainbow sticker on the outside, I'm talking a gay bar that is playing gay porn on the TV! So I ask him, you really come to this place a lot? Its a gay bar right? Yeah but they have good happy hour. Um...so does the straight bar next door. But I'm not trying to judge.

After we leave the gay bar we head to a dive bar up the street. He buys the next round, but I'm thinking I need to keep my wits about me on this date so I order a cider beer, yeah I know real girly. He orders another Henny and Coke. We sit down at a table by the bar and he proceeds to ask me when the last time I had sex was. Damn Gina! Really on a first date! I tell that him, this an inappropriate question and I'm not going to answer it. He still probes me for the answer. After this, him telling me about myself and why I'm still single, and a night of emotionally draining conversations, I officially decide this fool ain't getting a second date and its time to call it a night. Turns out he lives back in Jersey City like me, so we catch a cab to the train and ride back together. I pay for the cab because he got the last round and I don't want this fool to be one up on me in the buying category. We go downstairs to catch the train, and for those who don't know, it is hot as hell down in the subway. So this cat is sweating through his shirt. I'm not talking glistening, this dude is soaking wet! Then he tries to be all up on me and gets upset that I push him away because I don't want his sweaty ass all up on me. Well I guess this hurt his feelings :) He stood on the other side of the train the entire way home. Really, your 44 years old get over it buddy.

So a week goes bye and I don't see him at the gym and he hasn't called. Then I get a text message, from him telling me what a great time he had yada yada yada. Could of fooled me if it took him a week to contact me. Ya'll know I have already wrote this fool off, but I was hungry, so we make plans to meet for lunch after he finishes with a client at the gym. I picked a place close to my house because I am not traveling for this fool. We meet at this Cuban restaurant up by my house called Grove Street Cafe. Now the name of the restaurant is clearly plastered on the awning of the building. This idiot tried to convince me that wasn't the name of the restaurant. I'm already reconsidering if this is worth the free meal.

First he tells me how he dated a woman on-line for 2 years and when she finally came to NY she wouldn't have sex with him because she wasn't comfortable with her body image. Yes folks this is how date number 2 started. Then he proceeds to tell me how his Friday night went. How he went out with one of his male clients to a lesbian bar and how him and his friend had to "pretend" to be gay so the bouncer would let them in. Evidently there are a lot of straight guys that try to get in and see the lesbian action. Seriously I can't make this shit up ya'll. Thank god my lunch came and I could focus on something else. Then he starts to apologize for not calling me and I told him he was lucky I made a my new years resolution, because after last weekend he wouldn't of gotten a second date. Then he asks me what he did wrong. The fact that I have to tell him is bad enough but I believe in reform so I point out all the issues with our first date. Then this fool has the nerve to tell me that as a life coach it is his job to analyze people and people want to know how they are perceived by others. I explain to him that I could care less what other people thought and that any thing he says is strictly his opinion. He again tells me I'm wrong. I just tell him, lets just agree to disagree. I didn't have any energy left to argue. Next he tells me how he is the highest paid trainer at the gym and if he focuses he could make up to $100,000 this year. I simply say that people who throw their money around don't impress me, especially with that amount. So then the check comes. I don't even reach for my purse. He picks up the check, then says to me...and I want you to know I paid for this because I wanted to! Ok well thanks for pointing it out to me that you paid the check. I would of never known unless you told me, thank you. Then he proceeds to tell me he shouldn't of let me pay for anything last week when we went out either. So I answer in my fed up tone, "then you should of manned up and told me to put my wallet away! Don't say you could of should of after the fact. If you want to pay for a woman, you pay for a woman. You don't pay then point out the fact that you paid!" I told him thanks for lunch and I'll see him at the gym. Then he text me and said it was a turn on that no woman had ever put him in his place like that. Then I deleted his number....!

Break it down now!

So lets recap the last few months.

Christmas

Went to Disney with my Mom. Hard to believe neither one of us had ever been at Christmas time. It was fantastic, however if you want to actually ride the rides don't go at Christmas. Go a few weeks earlier. Then you get the best of both worlds, rides, less people and Christmas decorations. We did all the parks in 3 days so it was definitely a world wind vacation but so worth it. Christmas day we went to Epcot, watched the candle light processional and had a very expensive dinner. The best part though was when we were watching the choir sing and my mom goes, "I love the lady doing hand signals." Yup that would be my Mom talking about the sign linguist. Gotta love it. That is why you shouldn't drink beer and watch the candlelight procession! Long story short we had a fabulous Christmas and we didn't kill each other, even better!

There were huge storms in NY so my flight home got canceled. They couldn't get me out until Friday so needless to say I decided to stay thru the New Year. The original plan was to head to Jacksonville and watch my nieces while Erika and her husband went out for New Years. Well lets just say that didn't happen. My Mom came home from Disney with a slight cough and cold. She slept for 2 days when we got home and I thought she was just taking medicine and sleeping. Well as I was leaving to go to Jacksonville something told me to check on her. I found her incoherent and barley breathing. I called 911 and rushed her to the ER. After 5 days in the hospital and every test known to man she was released. She doesn't remember much and the doctors never could figure out what was wrong. Another long story short she is doing fine now, but thank God for snow in NY or she would of been by herself!

January = Hawaii

Thanks to my Uncle never wanting to go anywhere, my Aunt invited me and my Grandma to Hawaii. Needless to say I didn't even hesitate to say yes. We went to Maui and did every single thing a tourist could do in a week. We did manage to get our beach time in though. The best thing was my Grandmother telling me to put on sunscreen. Um..she just had 6 skin cancer spots removed and is talking about she wants to get just a little more color. Who needs the sunscreen lady! We did take a day trip Oahu and did the 8 hour tour of the island. Pearl Harbor, Dole Plantation, Waikiki, the Pipeline and ate shrimp out of a truck. Only in Hawaii. I don't even eat food out of a truck in NY!

February = reality

Big surprise, my life is boring again. Wish I had a lot to post about this month, but same old same old.

March = better days

I am finally getting out and about with a couple of friends from work. Yes I am proud to say I finally have a social life. Don't get too excited though, I'm still too old to hang with most of them, but it is nice to have friends who want to go out and do things.

Work has been crazy busy, but I am finally getting some good opportunities. We are finishing our new flagship store up the street so this past weekend I took some BBQ up to the construction guys and saw the finished product. They had been working insane OT, so they really appreciated the pulled pork! While I was in the city I decided to see what kind of discount Broadway shows I could see. For those of you who don't know the half price ticket office now has apps for IPhones and Androids. You can see what shows and what discounts are available before you go all the way down to Time Square. I decided to see American Idiot. I've been wanting to see it for a bit and when I saw it on sale for half price I was so excited! Yes I did go by myself, but hey you do what you gotta do. The show was FANTASTIC! Plus I didn't know Justin Guarani (American idol runner up) was in it. Thank God though the seat next to me was empty because this big girl was sitting next to me. The seats are very cramped and both of us next to each other was not a good look.

That's what I've been up to in a nut shell. Oh yeah still single but have been dating. Um..I stress though, still single! :)

GA/FL weekend

A few weeks ago I flew to Jacksonville to see the Sharps and the Gators!

I flew in Thursday so I could have all day Friday to spend with the girls, Morgan and Addison. Erika let them stay home from school so we had a girls day.

First we went to target where I let them run crazy up and down the isles, hey there was no one there, so don't judge. They were so funny running to each circle sticker that was on the floor. Next we went to the Mall. I had bought Addison some Twinkle Toe shoes that were a bit big, so we went to exchange them. First we played in the play ground for about an hour. I thought I would try and wear them out first thing! Then we did some shopping at Kid's Foot Locker. They were really good all day, so I took them to Chick-fil-A for lunch. Secretly it was a treat for me too. They don't have them up here, and they call the south slow, shoot! Then because Addison ate her lunch so good I took her to Build a Bear. Yes I got suckered, but she wanted Hello Kitty so how could I say no. Thank goodness Morgan didn't quite understand Build a Bear or I would of left there broke! Those sales associates now how to add sale!

After the mall we came home and took naps. Well sort of. Morgan fell asleep in the car on the way home and when I went to put her in bed she wasn't even having it. I put Addison down, read her a couple of books and she was out! Morgan just wasn't having it. We were all going to Boo at the Zoo later, so I knew Erika would not be happy if Morgan didn't nap. So I rocked her and she finally fell asleep on me. I didn't want to wake her again, so we just cuddled in Erika's bed and napped. It was one of my favorite parts of the trip. I love snuggling with the babies especially cuties like my niece Morgan.

Later that night we all went to the Jacksonville Zoo for Boo at the Zoo. It was fun, but lots of people, and the candy wasn't all that. I mean I know it was donated, but can we get something other than laffy taffy! The kids had fun, so that is all that matters.

Saturday was the big day. Gator Football!!! Thanks to my Aunt, we got North End Zone tickets to the game. We went down a little early to do some tail gating.

It wouldn't be GA/FL without tail gating and a walk thru RV City!

The game was FANTASTIC. All my SEC fans know the final out come. Sorry my GA peeps, add another loss to the record.

Chaz Henry, our HERO!

After the game we decided to go for a couple of beers at the Landing. Um..yeah I can never have a couple of beers! It was entertaining as always. We met our friend Magaly down there and the party continued.

Tinkerbell, Peter Pan and Captain Hook were one of the high lights. The photo isn't that good, but yes they ALL had on tights!

And God Bless Batman!

It is hard for me up here not really having a lot of friends, so when I can go home and visit those I love it means the world to me. Erika girl I can't tell you how much I love you and am glad you are in my life.

GO GATORS!!!!!

Mom's Visit

Now that my Mom is unemployed I had a weak moment and booked her a flight to visit me for 2 1/2 weeks. Not sure what I was thinking :)

She flew in the Thursday before my birthday. I didn't really take anytime off. I thought us spending 24 hours together should be kept to a minimum. The first weekend we just bumbed around and hit the mall. Then made some snacks and watched the Gators. The next day we were suppose to go to Bear Mountain for Oktoberfest, but the festival got canceled due to flooding. Since we were already up we decided to just hang around the city and see what trouble we could get into. Here is a picture from the M&M store. The only reason we went in was to look at the Christmas ornaments. I am my mother's daughter.

Next I thought we would take a stab at the discount ticket office in Time Square. Mom decided she really wanted to see West Side Story, so we got orchestra tickets for half off. I had never gotten tickets this way before, but I think I found my new weekend past time. The show didn't start until 3:00 so we had some time to kill. We ended up going to Madame Tussaud's wax museum. I've never been, but what the hell. It was interesting. Some of the statues looked so real it was freaky! Me and B :)

For my Birthday I bought us tickets to go see Wicked on Broadway. I wanted to go on Wednesday which was my actual birthday, so that meant my Mom had to meet me after work. She made it into the city all by herself. Once I told her to take the only train that had a number on it, she was good to go. We had a non-fancy dinner of Chinese food and went to the show. It was AMAZING!

The next weekend we made it to Bear Mountain for the Oktoberfest. There is a cruise up the harbor that takes you to the mountain so I thought it would be fun for me and Mom to do. Who new it would turn into a booze cruise full of 20 somethings getting wasted at 9 in the morning. Damn I'm old. The festivities were OK. We waited way to long in lines. I most likely won't do it again, but the drunk kids made for good entertaining on the cruise back.

Mom was tipsy off of one beer, so I had to cut her off!

Our final adventure was to the Bronx Zoo. It is so crazy how such a beautiful zoo is smack dab in the middle of the Bronx. You literally could see the expressway from the monorail.

I don't think my first trip to The Bronx Zoo would of been the same without my mother. As we visit with the deer she says, "Why do some of them not have antlers? They must of fallen off" "Um Mom those would be the female deers. You know doe a deer a female deer."

The Tiger Cubs were putting on a show playing for us. I look over and there is my Mom telling this lady all about the cubs how there are 2 and the momma tiger is over on the left. She seriously is giving this woman the play by play tour. I walk over and see the woman has on a red vest and a Bronx Zoo badge. I told my mom we needed to move on to the next animal and she needed to stop telling the Zoo Employee about her job. Yup, my mother was telling the animal expert all about the tigers she probably trains. Gotta love it. The lady was really nice to have pretended to be interested.

Me: Oh my God look at the white Giraffe.

Mom: Shannon quick take a picture.

Me: I have never seen anything like that.

Mom: I think its dead its not moving.

Me: We are so dumb, it is a wooden Giraffe.

Enough said!

And yes even The Bronx Zoo had the rarely seen bump it! She was probably from Jersey. REPRESENT!

Some things just ain't the same

Usually I stay home to partake in my Saturday football, but this past weekend I decided to venture out to the village to watch the Gator game. There are several "Gator" bars around town, but I wanted to be able to actually sit and watch the game. The Gator bars are usually pretty packed.

I headed to "Down the Hatch" with my new friend Meredith. (For those of you who don't have facebook, I met him recently but he is only 5'-5" so needless to say I only want to be friends. I just couldn't do it. I thought he was cool with being friends, but long story short I ended up watching the last quarter of the game by myself because I turned down his invite back to his place).

Down the Hatch is a typical NYU college bar, but there was a good mix of people. Some old folks like me and a lot of youngin's. Of coarse I sit next to the group of 6 stereotypical Frat boys chugging beer and acting like idiots. I didn't care though I was there to drink my beer, eat my wings, and watch my Gators.

I must admit it was pretty strange being the only one in the bar with a Gator shirt on and actually watching the game. I am not use to folks not wanting to watch College football. What is wrong with this Northerners? All in all it was fun times though. I can't say I'll go back to that particular bar again, but the Gators won and that is all that mattered!

Annual Rafting Trip

Last month I headed back to Atlanta to see friends and of coarse go on our annual white water rafting trip. Even though some of us are unemployed and I have moved away we still manage to keep the tradition going.

After we go down the river it is basically a big drunk fest back at the cabins. Why else would we make this an annual tradition! We cook out, and partake in the yearly game of flip cup. Which every year my team seems to win. I'm just sayin'!

This year I took Monday off of work so I could spend a little more time with friends that don't go on the trip. Plus flying back the day after flip cup is not a good thing anyway! It was so good seeing all the friends I miss so much. Can't wait until next year!